So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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