I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Someone came in the potted fern
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
