Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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