when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize