cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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