The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
