there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize