Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I booty called her while she was in labor.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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