i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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