is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
