they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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