I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
