My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
