your room smells of hookers.
And success
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
