i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She announced her abortion via fbk
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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