Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sorry my hands just texted you
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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