I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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