Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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