you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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