She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
