i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize