oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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