Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
