So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
