is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
