My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
