she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize