Don't you send me to vm
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
