as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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