1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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