I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
