Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
