my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
