Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
