After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
