Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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