I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
