some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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