i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
