I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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