I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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