you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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