And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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