His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
