he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
