We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
