I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize