Im at strip club and am horny
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
