Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
