drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
