Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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