remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize