I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
