Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
