I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
