And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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