All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
