so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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