you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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