my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
